100 Word Challenge…
…suddenly, darkness enveloped the room…
“Are you sure this is the right house?” Mabel said with fear across her face.
“I think… 28 Hunch Street,” said David
“ Oh come on, I mean sure… this house is creepy but it's not that bad!” said Lora.
David and Mable followed alongside Lora walking towards the house. They opened the door and walked in…
“ !!!!SLAM!!!!”
Suddenly, darkness enveloped the room...
“What was that?” Said Mable.
“Ummm, guys... Wha-What is that…” said David looking dreadful.
“Is… Is that a…” Mable started “ A MONSTER!!”
“That's not any monster that's… LORA!” David said.
I like the ending, because I didn't suspect it would be Lora. Good setting out of the dialogue with one person speaking on each line, and the use of speech marks. The rest of the punctuation is great as well. I like the exclamation marks to emphasise the door slamming shut.
ReplyDeletei like your story and i guessing that lora is the monster
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