Turangawaewae
Up the ramp leading to doors, there's a gush of chlorine flowing in the air. Loud splashing from water and screams of joy. In the distance, I can see kids are having races and playing. “Don't get it in my eyes!” I heard someone say and another saying the same.
Time goes by with less to see, people getting out looking freezing as can be. Grabbing their things they’re out the door. Hair is dripping and their faces look wet. “Why do we have to go so soon?” I heard a kid say with a frown on their face. I could tell they enjoyed their day, making me enjoy my day.
The soft water between my hands. If you keep them in for too long they get wrinkles on the tips of your fingers feeling cool in a weird way.
I can smell the fast food that families have eaten, sort of making me hungry for some as well. I hear kids complaining about having a stitch from eating too much or them just feeling sick.
Sight
The Learning Intention was sharing as many of the senses as we can. You certainly have, and that makes the reader feel as if they are part of the experience too. I love the fact you showed, not told us where you were until right at the end.
ReplyDeleteI love how you described the pools very clearly.
ReplyDeleteFor me, when I hear the word 'chlorine', I am thinking the pools.
Very good nice wrok Eden :) '-'
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ReplyDeleteI have a question at the start you said up the ramp leading to doors meaning getting out of the pool. Then at the third paragraph it said the soft water between your hands so where are you at that part I don't know since you already got out of the water?
ReplyDeleteWhen I said up the ramp leading to doors I meant it as in like a ramp leading up to the entrance.
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